Thursday, April 30, 2009

Adoption Birth Pains...

"For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.  For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to decay and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God.  For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now.  And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the first fruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies.  For in this hope we were saved.  Now hope that is seen is not hope.  For who hopes for what he sees?  But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience."  
(Romans 8:18-25)
Today was one of those days I'm going to call an "International Adoption Birth Pain"... ha ha.  You may think me strange but Romans 8 came to mind this evening as we both attempt to unwind and process together.  As I type, Tony is in the other room checking flight schedules...  We are "groaning inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption" paperwork to be finalized enabling us to bring our children home...

Our first stop today was to visit the judge who presided over our adoption court.  Normally, families visit with the judge immediately following the court to thank them accordingly.  We had been unable to do so last week and since our court decree will be official tomorrow we wanted to plan our visit.  We enjoyed brief fellowship with the judge and gave him a couple children's games for his grandkids.  He welcomed us with warm hospitality, a very nice man who loved the fact that we seemed always to be smiling.  Evidently that is a rare thing for others to do... who knew?!.  :)  Usually, it's only the Americans who smile he said... ha ha. Following our visit with the judge we were dropped off at the orphanage.

We had three hours there today.  Our first hour we visited briefly with the orphanage director who insisted we eat lunch...      
So, we enjoyed a little 'extra' lunch of borsch, bread, vegetables, tea and coffee.  It was very good.  We sat in the half of the cafeteria that has been renovated recently.  They are currently working on the other side.  Our new friend, Larry, (who was mentioned earlier) is financing this and several other projects.  What a difference it has made to the physical environment there...
Before visiting with our children, Tony was able to gather church information from a local Baptist pastor who ministers in many ways at the orphanage there...

Following lunch, we connected with James and Angela first for a little play time outside.  They enjoyed the see-saw and some snails... 


Today we brought along a couple puzzles for the children to work on.  The store we bought them in only had two in stock, so James worked diligently on his while the girls teamed up to piece theirs together.  They love puzzles... this is good. 

Focusing hard...
Victoria was giving directions while snacking on gummy bears stored in her pant pocket...
Jana wanted me to show her where Mississippi was, so I drew her a map of Europe and the United States.  Then I pointed to where our state was.  She proceeded to draw a house and each family member...
Aside from some pleasurable time on the playground, eating gummy bears and putting a puzzle together all of us are showing signs of restlessness here as we wait.  It is challenging for us to all be together in this context.  Tony and I confessed to each other our fatigue of the orphanage smells, dirtiness, harsh teachers, foreign language and overall a context where we have little to no control.  

A 'down hill' moment for us today occurred when I took our youngest, Victoria, to the bathroom.  The two little girls have to return to their classroom to use the toilet and the two older ones have to go outside to the outhouse (the indoor toilets are locked during the day).  When I took Victoria downstairs and waited outside the classroom, evidently her teacher yelled at her and wouldn't let her use it.  So, Victoria broke down in tears in frustrated acceptance of her punishment of interrupting the rest of the class (I'm guessing at what really happened because it was all in Ukrainian... I just know she needed to use the toilet and wasn't allowed).  This is the second time she has "broken down" emotionally (my phrase to describe an emotional breakdown with no response to attempts of comfort).  Here was a moment where I would want to advocate for my child.  However, I myself needed an "advocate".  A moment of helplessness and lack of control...

So, as we continue to wait patiently we do so with great hope... hope of what tomorrow holds... set free from this place of waiting... these frustrations are nothing compared to what is ahead...

Praise the Lord for His boundless grace!  We are grateful that "the Spirit helps us in our weakness.  For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.  And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the Saints according to the will of God.  And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.  For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.  And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified." (vv. 26-30)

7 comments:

Conethia and Jim Bob said...

I know the feeling. You think the kids are being punished for something that is your fault or something you told them to do. This happened a lot once we were out of the orphanage. The babuskas around our apartment yell at our kids for nothing!

Hang in there. Remember you are doing the best you can with what you have (language wise).

Wishing you guys the best.

tashab16 said...

It's an awful feeling when you feel helpless as a mom - especially when only trying to help them with something. My heart goes out to you.

I can't fathom yelling at an innocent child for needing to use the restroom, by the way. You're handling this with a grace & strength that I'm afraid I just don't have. Many prayers continue for all of you!

FloridaTodds said...

Hang in there...you are in the home stretch! Those pains will soon be replaced by pure JOY!!!

Sorry to hear about Victoria encounter with the not so nice teacher today. We had several encounters with those teachers too. It is heart breaking!! We have been home 5 weeks and our son still has times when he cries when he has to go to the bathroom. These innocent, sweet children do not deserve such harsh treatment.

Take care and hope your birth certificate and passport process go quick and smooth.

Jane

Erin said...

Praying for you all.

Stephanie said...

Kimberly,
My heart hurts with you today as I read the struggles you are facing right now. This scripture and song comes to mind..."Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord..." Praying for His strength to carry you thru these last days in the Ukraine. HOLD FAST!
Love and prayers,
Stephanie

Leslie G said...

Praying too for strength to endure this for just a little bit longer.
Then you will move on to different challenges. :-) haha

It was hard for me to feel like my new children's parent until we were actually at home. It gradually got better once they were out of the orphanage, then a little better on the plane...but once we were home, I was the MOM....and it was easier for me. Challenges will be different from day to day...and I think the two of you are doing a great job!!! Having a strong foundation and a good sense of humor are key.

Kimberly said...

Thank you, dear friends, for your words of encouragement! It truly has encouraged us this evening. Blessings to each of you... Kimberly